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In my 30's I Was burned out  and unhappy. I was doing a job I hated and I had a time table stuck to my fridge which started at 5am and finished at 8.30pm with no breaks.

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I had so many balls in the air and I thought that if I just dropped one then everything would implode. I began studying yoga and meditation as a way of seeking the peace and happiness and sense of union that I craved. 

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My horse, Olaf, made the decision that it was time I stopped being so nuts. I had hired a trainer who used traditional equestrian language and training methods, even though he taught natural horsemanship. The language went something like this: never get off, show him who is boss, never give in, don't let them win, hurt them before they hurt you. To me, it sounded like battle language and it worried me. I knew that if I got into a battle with a horse I wasn't going to win. Also, I really didn't want to be aggressive with my horses. My intuition told me that there was a better way. 

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Unfortunately, on the day I really needed it, I rejected my intuition and tuned into the wisdom of my trainer. After all, he was the expert... Olaf was frightened of a dog in a garden and he turned around for home. Don't let them win; I turned him back; never give in; he refused; show them who is boss; I pulled his head around; never get off. He gave me a second warning so I pulled on his bit and kicked hard to send him forward - fairly standard equestrian behaviour and what I had always been taught -  hurt them before they hurt you. He reared, fell over backwards and landed on top of me between my legs. My pelvis shattered. It happened so quickly,. and yet, it didn't, it had been building for quite some time.

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I was in hospital for 8 weeks. All the balls came abruptly crashing down around me and I couldn't move to pick up even one. A nanny was even bringing my 3 month old daughter to hospital to see me laying helplessly strapped to a hospital bed in a state of grief and anguish.

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When I finally got out of hospital I would get my partner to wheel me up to the paddock and drop me on the grass. Like I said, I had lost my balls so I practiced meditation to regulate my screaming heart; understanding that the horses would pick up on my fear. 

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I started to enjoy spending this time with the horses. The freedom of not having to ride and the lack of expectation of any given outcome was soothing and liberating. Then, after a couple of weeks, my horses suddenly came to lay down with me. I wept. It felt so remarkably different to what I had known before. I had realised that they had previously associated my with adrenaline and nuttiness and that we had not trusted one another at all; quite the opposite. I had been working from a place of fear with very little understanding of what my horses  needed in order to trust me. 

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And so began a two-year long self teaching journey. during this time I sat with the horses most days and used them as a mirror with which to see myself and how I was walking through they world. I would understand my own emotional state so much better when I was around them and used this insight to develop a way clear out negative emotions and bring myself into a state of peace. 

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I tapped into their co-synchronising capabilities and it fast-tracked my meditation practice and took me into the most blissful conscious states that id never thought possible. 

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And so the concept of Meditate with Horses was born and since then I have enjoyed sharing it with thousand of visitors over the years. 

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I have also developed the concept to incorporate deeply healing full day equine therapy days and equine facilitated retreats such as The Wild Woman. Ive enjoyed feedback and reviews that have turned my life around and I have found happiness beyond my wildest dreams.

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